The night before last I went over to my brothers to bbq. We had brauts&kraut, corn-on-the-cob, baked potatoes, and sunshine wheat. We sat on his back porch, listened to tunes, smoked cigarettes and told each other our Vegas stories. The weather was perfect. It was a beautiful evening. I didn’t want it to end.

I wanted last night to end as quickly as possible. I was lazy and stayed on the couch till late in the evening when all of a sudden I was overcome with some sort of weird nervous energy.

This will happen to me sometimes. I don’t have anything particularly pressing going on. No big strains or stresses in my professional, social, or family life. Just a general nervousness or anxiety and all of a sudden my existence seems incredibly complex and convoluted. And everything seems really alive. Soon my stomach started to get upset. I needed to move around. So I walked aimlessly around my neighborhood for two and a half-hours. The walk was really soothing. It had just finished raining and the streets had that snakeskin shine. The streetlamps mirrored off the sidewalks and puddles. All the dust was grounded from the recent moisture and it seemed the grime of the city was washed into the sewers. The air was warm and heady and humid and had that musky smell that comes with evening showers. I love that smell. But I couldn’t shake my nerves.

I think I need to start running (away) again.