Goodbyes
I can’t remember the first time I met her. She had always just kind of been around - coming to my brother’s birthday parties in Jr. high and high school. I don’t even remember ever being introduced to her. I’ve always just known her. My earliest memories of her were of when I would go down to Durango to visit my brother in College. We would bump into her at parties or just hang out. A memorable time being when we ran into her and her mom while relaxing at the waterfall just outside of town. I remember developing a bit of a crush on her. Her natural almost hippyish looks, sly smile and freckles. She had a great attitude and seemed to be able to brighten everyone’s mood and accept anybody simply for who they were.
After college I got to see a lot more of her, though it was never really all that often, seeing as how she was now a school teacher living in Telluride. But she was always able to find reason to come up to Denver and visit. And I could occasionally find a reason to make it down to Telluride (see Thursday). At the WSP shows in Keystone she got me a t-shirt, it’s dark blue and has the word widespreadmuthafuckingpanic written in gothic letters across the front. It fits me perfect. This ended up being one of the most all around enjoyable days I had spent with her and I cherish the souvenir she got me to remember it by. I’ve got fond memories of keeping each other warm during a late night ride through the woods in the back of a pickup truck. Sharing a blanket and shivering. I remember at one of her many pool parties, the thrilled gasp I let out when she climbed to the tippy-top of the waterslide and dove off headfirst. In high school she was one of the cliff divers at Casa Bonita (only those of you in Denver can realize how incredibly cool that really is).
I can also remember the last time I saw her (though like a friend said this weekend, it was all the times before the last that get me). It was about three weeks ago, she was eating lunch on one of the outdoor patios on 16th Street with a friend. Having spied her, I went over to say hi and ask what she was doing in town (visiting her mom) and how long she would be in town for (a question that was somehow avoided). We quickly caught up and bantered, and I turned down an offer to join them for lunch because I had just gotten done with lunch myself and needed to head back to work. My last words to her were “enjoy your stay”. The prophecy of these last words makes me both smile and cry.
With foggy, blinking eyes and trembling fingers,
I’ll miss you Beth.
1 jocelyn Says:
Where is she going? I can only imagine I am not going to like the answer. Sorry.
Can you feel the electricity in the air around Denver? Yeah that’s me.
ciao for now
2 cindy Says:
3 teahouseblossom Says:
Beth sounds like a cool girl. So what happened, are you ready to share with us?
:hugs:
4 chevy Says:
thanks alot, butthole. i just literally started crying at my desk!
im sorry, baby.
5 erin Says:
so sorry, hubs.
6 finelyspungirl Says:
I’m sorry, hubs
7 S Says:
“She seemed to be able to brighten everyone’s mood…”
I think that’s the highest compliment you can pay someone. Wherever she is now, I hope she knows that’s how you perceived her. Very nice tribute…
8 S Says:
“She seemed to be able to brighten everyone’s mood…”
I think that’s the highest compliment you can pay someone. Wherever she is now, I hope she knows that’s how you perceived her. Very nice tribute…
9 m Says:
assuming the worst, i am very sorry to hear of your loss. that is very sad to hear, but a touching piece to read. i’m sure that, wherever she may be, she’s happy to hear your kind words.
10 ginni Says:
i am sorry hubs.
11 Satan™ Says:
I think I’d die if I ever got that close and lost it. Hang in there amigo.
12 MightyLambchop Says:
Very powerful, hubs.
I’m sorry for your loss.
13 Lux Says:
I thought I posted this last night, but it doesn’t seem to be here.
Anyway, I’m very sorry for your loss. She seems like a sweet and wonderful person. And it was not only what you said, but what you didn’t say that made this so poignant.
14 hubs Says:
Everyone - Thanks so much for your cares and warm thoughts. They really did help. Thanks.
15 Dave Says:
Touching piece, Hubs. My condolences.
16 h Says:
{{{{{{{{{HUBS}}}}}}}}}}
17 Sebastian Arana Says:
Hey, Hubs. I read this awhile ago, and I, too was touched. It is nice to see you have the courage to post your feeling about your loss on the internet. I think, quite often, grief is considered a private experience. I think that is unfortunate, and sometimes necessary. Necessary because goodness knows I have encountered those who don’t know how to deal with a grieving person, and they can hinder more than help a grief process. It was also nice to see all the kind posts about your expression. I have been dealing intimately with the loss of my father, and have become quite a “scholar” on grief. Well, so says my kind grief support group leader. If you feel you need some extra resources about this, Amazon has a lot of titles about loss and grief, and here’s a link for a free online book about loss. (http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/books/sur/)I think it’s important to understand some of the common experiences of grief, especially if you feel the need to. Another thing that helped me was writing a letter to the person who you lost. You kind of did that here. It might seem foolish at first, and that’s pretty normal. I suggest pushing through anyway.
This is perhaps overkill. I just clicked back here, and hoped my words would be informative, if not just for you, but for anyone else clicking through the comments.