Casa Bonita
A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure/displeasure of eating at one of Denver’s - scratch that - the Nation’s landmark restaurants: Casa Bonita.
Casa Bonita opened in 1974. It is over 52,000 square feet with seating for 1,100 guests and took one year to build. Since the Casa Bonita in Tulsa closed in September of 2005 (which I’m incredibly disappointed in never having had the chance to visit), Denver’s Casa Bonita is now one of a kind - with the exception of the soon to be open Casa Viva and The Mayan (which was sued by Casa Bonita). Casa Bonita achieved national recognition recently with it’s appearance on South Park.
I think it’s easily described as the offspring of a broken down Disneyland, less than stellar Taco Bell, long airport security lines, the Las Vegas Strip, Chunky Cheese, and good liquid acid.
Nearly everyone who has lived in Denver, for any amount of time, is going to know what casa Bonita is. And most of those people are going to gag at the mere mention of it’s name. In fact, the reputation of the food at Casa Bonita is so poor it has been deemed “Casa Don’t-eat-a” by many Denverites. Casa Bonita is not for the week of heart or the week of stomach. It is just as plastic as Vegas (maybe more). And the food is some of the worst I’ve ever had. For reals.
The lines to get into the Casa can be horrendous. Go on a weeknight, less screaming children and little-to-no lines. If you decide to make a weekend night out of it you can expect lines up to an hour long to get in. And often a 30 minute line can form just to get the hell out of there. You’ve been warned. Trust me, this is one of the last places on earth you want to feel trapped.
After you have made your order and paid (you didn’t think they’re going let you see what’s on your plate before you paid did you), you are ushered to another cafeteria style line were you get a tray and wait until a young lady asks, “wachoo order?”. Soon your meal comes sliding out of a mysterious hole in the wall were it waits for you under the heating lamps. I love the fact that you never see where or by whom your food is made - it just appears through a hole!
I can only harsh on Casa Bonita for so long though. I personally, have spent many a childhood birthday at Casa Bonita. It will forever hold a nostalgic place in my heart, no matter how many times I end up puking in the fountain on the way out.
And so the fun begins. After getting your slop you’ll be lead to your seat. Everyone asks for a seat by the waterfall. Don’t. The smell of chlorine will get your stomach upset before you have a chance to drink your first coronaita. And they won’t seat you there anyway. One of the coolest things about Casa Bonita is all the cool rooms they can seat you in. There are gazebos, waterfall seating, mines, cave rooms, “open air” seating, and the governors mansion.
This particular time we were seated in the magic room. This room had a cool chandelier and stage complete with red velvet curtain. There are magic shows every hour. The magician seemed like the saddest man on the planet but actually produced quite a few laughs.
In addition to magic shows, Casa Bonita has all kinds of other entertainment including pupppet shows, flame jugglers, a wishing well, a roaming mariachi band (which reportedly can’t play anything other than ‘happy birthday’), Black Barts cave, an arcade filled with 80’s video games and ski-ball, a souvenir store filled with absolute shit - and t-shirts, “authentic” Mexican dancers, a wishing well, piñatas for the kids, and all kinds of other stuff. Casa Bonita is great to go exploring in. Go thru a door your not supposed, search around, there is cool stuff to be found.
But by far the main attraction at Casa Bonita is the thirty-foot waterfall. Everyone seems to fall into the waterfall. If it’s not the regular divers doing flips, it’s Black Bart being shot by the sheriff and falling into the pool, or Chiquita the gorilla running around it escaping her captor and harassing the patrons. It’s the waterfall that makes Casa Bonita really unique. The diver’s at Casa Bonita even have there own blog featuring Chiquita.
Here are some Southpark screen caps and sounds.
Here are Casa Bonita My Space and Friendster accounts.
Go to Tiki Boyds and get a drink called the Casa Bonita. Refreshing!
Her reminiscing about Casa Bonita really hit home with me.
This dude made a video of his Casa Bonita experience.
Jeffery Sward has some great phtography of Casa Bonita.
The death metal band Carrion Crawler once did a short show on the Casa Bonita stage before getting kicked off.
Some more Casa Bonita photos can be found here.
This is a decent post about the Casa.
Please share you favorite / nostalgic / least favorite stories about the Casa. Or, just comment on how absolutly jealous you are of not being able to go here every weekend!
1
You are so brave to be so honest. If I would have had ANY idea how many Denverites truly loathe this hellhole from hell (redundant but true) I would have been more forthcoming in my review. Just reading this brings back the stench of the so called ‘food’?
And once again, my appetite has dissapeared.
Bon Apetit, Hubs…you nailed it!
2
The long and short of it is that we lived 2.5 hours from Denver growing up, and it was a huge novelty to go to Chuck E Cheeses or Casa Bonita. As a child, I remember nothing about the food (at either, for that matter), but I remember the divers and how ‘exotic’ it all was.
I had to go back about five years with my nephew, and it was absolutely horrendous. Ack! The food is just nasty, nasty.
And Kath, I do not know one person here in Denver - any of my friends - that give that place a raving review. It’s basically known as the place you don’t go and eat unless you absolutely must go with your little nephew who could care less if someone is diving of a cliff.
3
i still have not been there. i’m a little scared to go.
4
LSE, if you are hellbent on going, make sure to wear a gas mask, have an uopdated Living Will and bring PLENTY of pepto just to play it safe.
5
…and bring kids. The place just isn’t the same without a couple of tikes in tow.
6
…and for the full effect, make sure the kids are whiny, snotty-nosed and very badly behaved…like the kids that were in line in front of us and in back of us…and then add in the wait time of 30 minutes minimum….gives you plenty of time to consider being childless for the rest of your life.
dudes, I really hated that place.
7
ok, it’s not THAT bad… if you only go every 20 years or so… and from my nostalgia, I must have liked it as a kid!
we got sat in the magic room last summer, too.
8
Hi Hubs!
Is that the place the Byrnes went in Tulsa a few months ago?
9
Yeah SE, but the Tulsa community has been mourning the loss of their Casa Bonita since it’s lease ran out in September of 2005. They are currently remodeling and are supposed to open up sometime this year. Pictures of the remodel can be found here. Erin’s pictures of the Tulsa Casa Bonita can be found here, as you can see, it’s nowhere near as cool as the Denver one.
Nice to have you around SE. Glad to hear the house is nearly complete.
10
I love Casa Bonita but not for the food. I used to go there as a kid and every time I go back I feel like I’m 10 again. As a kid, my favorite part was raising the flag and asking for candy money. That was back when they always had someone sitting in the treasure room ready to give you your toy or candy on the way out. I have always loved and always will love the sopapillas. About 7 years ago my cousin ate 25 sopapillas just to win a dare. I always order the nachos… it seems to be the safest item on the menu for me.
11 Howard Says:
Hubs,
Because of this one single post, you should never stop blogging. I’m putting a link to this post in the comment section to my joke template blog and will probably post a short blog pointing people to it (yes, I think it’s THAT important). Where in the world did you find this much information about the-restaurant-that-shall-not-be-named? You should submit this to Wikepeda.
12
Shmeder, Deep down in my heart of hearts, I love Casa Bonita too. You’d be a fool not to. But it’s only cause ofthe memories it holds for me. If it weren’t for that…. I forgot all about the candy money unti I read you comment. One of the things I remember most (which I failed to mention in the post) is the glowing necklaces. We would keep our necklaces on all night and the put them in the freezer when we got home hoping that they would last another day.
Howard, Glad you liked the post. Thanks so much for the link in your blog. I don’t think anybody has made an entire blog entry about one of my blog entries before. I’m sooooo important! As for where I got all the information - I do research for a living. I would submit it to Wikipedia but it was one of my sources.
13 RR Says:
I’m eating there next Thursday 4/20 for my good friend’s 2nd birthday. It’ll be my first visit in 10 years. I’m totally getting the nachos, and I agree with Shmeder, I can’t wait to raise the flag and ask for sopapillas!
14
Had a dream (nightmare?) last night that I had to live at Casa Bonita.
Ewwwwwww….
15 mark Says:
Oh my god Hubs, you have just documented Casa Bonita more than anyone else in history. It will live forever now! That place has been there for as long as I can remember - same food - same show - same smell - you gotta love it!
16 The Web Pen Blog: April 2006 Says:
[...] More Casa Bonita Than You Ever Wanted If you live in Denver or have ever visited, I’m sure you’ve heard the name Casa Bonita. I won’t describe it here because Artifacting has done that much more tongue-in-cheekfully. Here’s a teaser quote to get you to go:I think it’s easily described as the offspring of a broken down Disneyland, less than stellar Taco Bell, long airport security lines, the Las Vegas Strip, Chunky Cheese, and good liquid acid.Casa Bonita at ArtifactingMy favorite part of the post is the diver’s blog find.Listening to: Love Of The Loveless - Eels # posted by Howard @ 1:05 PM 11 comments links to this post [...]
17 Nate W. Says:
I worked there from late 1993 to mid 1994, back when I was a teenager. I had just moved to Denver from the Bay Area, so I have no fond childhood memories of the place, only terrirble working memories of the place.
To even get a raise from the whole $4.25 minimum wage I was making back then, you had to pass a 50 question test about the place, with questions ranging from how high was the waterfall (30 feet), to how high was the diver’s platform (I want to say 17, but I don’t know anymore) to the names of the areas of the place (Gold Mine, Silver Mine, the Theater, the Palace, the Balcony, the Island, the Caves, the Plaza and a few I’ve forgot by now), to a whole bunch of other inane questions that people would ask you constantly. Then you’d get a button that says ‘Pleasing You Pleases Me’, which went gerat with on black shirt full of chili peppers. My badge lasted all of a week before they took it from me for eating sophapillas without paying for them, bastards.
Anyways, for those who are forced to go there, I recommend the fajitas. They are about the most edible thing on the menu (and of course, the most expensive). They aren’t great, but at least when I worked there they were really cooked on a grill, so they aren’t as awful as the rest of the stuff. The gorditas aren’t terrible either (it is basically their version of a chimichanga, a sophipilla stuffed with meat and somothered with cheese sauce.), but again, nothing there is good. They will try to push the all you can eat menu on you. Stay away from it like the plague. Especially thbe beef one. Their red sauce on their enchiladas should be outlawed. It is truly toxic stuff.
Oh, great sendup on the place. It truly was on target.
18
[...] Anyone who’s spent time in Denver has heard of Casa Bonita. Anyone born and raised here has at least a birthday party or 7 spent running amok through Black Bart’s cave under their belt. Artifacting not only has a great review of his experience there, but also features a pile of excellent links to OTHER Casa Bonita resources at the bottom. Ole! [...]
19
[...] I think it’s easily described as the offspring of a broken down Disneyland, less than stellar Taco Bell, long airport security lines, the Las Vegas Strip, Chunky Cheese, and good liquid acid. Casa Bonita at Artifacting [...]
20 Bon Jour, Pee Wee Denver Says:
From a recent visitor, Hubs’ site: ‘I think it’s easily described as the offspring of a broken down Disneyland, less than stellar Taco Bell, long airport security lines, the Las Vegas Strip, Chunky Cheese, and good liquid acid. Nearly everyone who has lived in Denver, for any amount
21
I used to go there growing up. Man, I used to love it.
I and a Denver-born/bred buddy of mine insisted that a bunch of our college buddies come up to Denver with us from the Springs and go there (after proper enhancements).
They’re all glad they went. But, certainly, they’re all going to die that much sooner.
22
[...] Liz again! The only things I know about at this point is there is a restaurant with cliff divers (better description) and a bank for kids only. That’s a pretty awesome [...]
23
One of my friends is planning a joke b-day party for his boyfriend and I just pass out the link to this post for everyone. Hopefully, you’ll get a few more hits.
24
[...] Come out and help us celebrate Dan’s birthday, as well as his getting a career type job finally! As we found out that some of our friends had never been to this fine Denver dining spot, it was apparent that we had to have his party here at Casa Bonita! Shh… he doesn’t know that’s where we are going! :) He has been kind enough to put up a birthday wish list on his blog for those interested in bringing him a present. http://trashcandan.wordpress.com/2007/03/27/b-day-wishlist/I have already gotten him the rechargeable Wii remote docking station!
Hope to see all of you there. And please feel free to invite anyone you see I have left off. I didn’t have a complete e-mail list of all his friends. If you haven’t been there, here is a great write up written by a fellow blogger that went there for the first time about a year ago: http://www.artifacting.com/blog/2006/04/10/la-experiencia-de-bonita-del-casa/ [...]
25 Kelsey Says:
Yes the food is not good, but how often do you get to eat and watch ppl dive off waterfalls, watch pupet shows, go through the scariest cave..ect