Skip to content


237 Reasons To Have Sex

Technically you only need one reason, actually, any reason. But you are so much more complicated than that, aren’t you?

Well that is what psychologists Cindy Meston and Dr. Dave Buss, professors of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, think. In fact, they have put out a report (pdf) analyzing 327 reasons people have sex. That’s pretty complicated in my book. The reasons breakdown into four major groups, each of the breakdown into 13 subgroups as follows:

Physical

  1. Stress reduction
  2. Pleasure
  3. Physical
  4. Desirability

Goal-directed

  1. Resources
  2. Social Status
  3. Revenge
  4. Utilitarian

Emotional

  1. Love and commitment
  2. Expression

Insecurity

  1. Self-esteem boost
  2. Duty/pressure
  3. Mate guarding

According to the study, the most and least frequently endorsed reasons for having sex were common among the great majority who were surveyed. There were nine themes that appeared to characterize the most frequently endorsed reasons for having intercourse:

  1. pure attraction to the other person in general
  2. experiencing physical pleasure
  3. expression of love
  4. having sex because of feeling desired by the other
  5. having sex to escalate the depth of the relationship
  6. curiosity or seeking new experiences
  7. marking a special occasion for celebration
  8. mere opportunity
  9. sex just happening due to seemingly uncontrollable circumstances

Their studies reaffirmed many sexual stereotypes about men and women. On the other hand, some of these stereotypes were contradicted. When examining the most frequently cited reasons for having sex, men and women were remarkably similar in the 20 of the top 25 reasons given were identical for men and women.

Men showed significantly greater endorsement of having sex due to physical reasons, such as ‘‘The person had a desirable body’’; ‘‘The person was too ‘‘hot’’ (sexy) to resist,’’ and simply because the opportunity presented itself: ‘‘The person was available’’; ‘‘The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.’’ Men exceeded women on many items that pertained to physical pleasure such as, ‘‘I wanted to achieve an orgasm,’’ and ‘‘It feels good.’’ Men more than women reported having sex as a way to improve their social status (e.g., ‘‘I wanted to enhance my reputation’’; ‘‘I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests’’) and their sexual experience (e.g., ‘‘I needed another notch on my belt’’; ‘‘I wanted to improve my sexual skills’’). Finally, men exceeded women on endorsing a variety of utilitarian reasons for sex: ‘‘I wanted to change the topic of conversation’’; ‘‘I wanted to improve my sexual skills.’’ Women exceeded men on only three of the 237 reasons: ‘‘I wanted to feel feminine’’; ‘‘I wanted to express my love for the person’’; ‘‘I realized that I was in love.’’

Their findings contradict the stereotype that women, more than men, use sex to obtain special favors. In their study, men were more likely to endorse reasons for having sex that involved utilitarian goals (“To get a favor from someone”).

Below is a table that list nearly all of the 237 reasons Meston and Buss derived from their surveys. Along with each reason is the the category that that particular reason belongs to and the score for that reason (somply put the score refers to the commonality of that reason used between the sexes, please read the full report for a more precise understanding).

ReasonFactorCategory
I was "in the heat of the moment"..35Stress Reduction
It just happened..42Stress Reduction
I was bored..57Stress Reduction
It just seemed like "the thing to do."noneDuty/Pressure
Someone dared me..38Social Sataus
I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)..67Love & Commitment
I wanted to feel closed to God..48Resources
It's exciting, adventurous.-.45Pleasure
I was under the influence of drugs..55Stress Reduction
I wanted to express my love for the person..73Love & Commitment
I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.-.73Pleasure
I wanted to show my affection to the person..73Love & Commitment
I felt like I owed it to the person..51Duty/Pressure
I was attracted to the person.-.62Pleasure
I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.-.70Pleasure
It feels good.-.75Pleasure
My partner kept insisting..63Duty/Pressure
The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her..47Social Sataus
I was physically forced to..51Duty/Pressure
I was verbally coerced into it..70Duty/Pressure
I wanted to person to love me.-.43Mate Guarding
I wanted to have a child..45Resources
I wanted to make someone else jealous..59Revenge
I wanted to have more sex than my friends..54Social Sataus
I was "horny."-.64Pleasure
I was feeling lonely..35Self-esteem
I wanted the attention..43Self-esteem
I wanted to ensure the relationship was "committed".-.60Mate Guarding
I was competing with someone else to "get the person"..48Social Sataus
I wanted to "gain control" of the person..42Self-esteem
I was curious about what the person was like in bed.-.48Physical Desirability
I was curious about sex.-.73Physical Desirability
I wanted to feel attractive..59Self-esteem
I wanted to display submission..40Self-esteem
I wanted to release anxiety/stress..60Stress Reduction
I didn't know how to say "no"..75Duty/Pressure
I felt like it was my duty..69Duty/Pressure
I wanted to end the relationship..34Resources
My friends pressured me into it..41Social Sataus
I wanted the adventure/excitement.-.51Pleasure
I wanted the experience.-.67Physical Desirability
I felt obligated to..73Duty/Pressure
It's fun.-.61Pleasure
I wanted to get even with someone..64Revenge
I wanted to be popular..79Social Sataus
It would get me gifts..33Social Sataus
I wanted to act out a fantasy.-.35Physical Desirability
I hadn't had sex for a while..39Stress Reduction
The person was "available"..39Stress Reduction
I didn't want to "lose" the person.-.58Mate Guarding
I thought it would help "trap" a new partner.-.40Mate Guarding
I wanted to make someone else jealous..52Revenge
I felt sorry for the person..37Duty/Pressure
I wanted to feel powerful..86Self-esteem
I wanted to "possess" the person..50Self-esteem
I wanted to release tension..59Stress Reduction
I was slumming..33Social Sataus
I felt rebellious..54Self-esteem
I wanted to intensify my relationship..72Love & Commitment
It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship..59Love & Commitment
I wanted to be nice..45Duty/Pressure
I wanted to feel connected to the person..80Love & Commitment
I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me..41Self-esteem
I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex..65Duty/Pressure
I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person..57Resources
I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself..40Love & Commitment
I didn't want to disappoint the person..47Duty/Pressure
I was trying to "get over" an earlier person/relationship..30Self-esteem
I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.-.40Physical Desirability
I felt guilty..49Duty/Pressure
My hormones were out of control.noneStress Reduction
It was the only way my partner would spend time with me..33Self-esteem
I had no self-control..32Duty/Pressure
I wanted to communicate at a "deeper" level..76Love & Commitment
I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't have sex with him/her.-.63Mate Guarding
I was curious about my sexual abilities.-.70Physical Desirability
It was just part of the relationship "routine"..32Duty/Pressure
I wanted to lose my inhibitions.-.47Physical Desirability
The opportunity presented itself.-.37Physical Desirability
I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned (e.g., on drugs).51Stress Reduction
It's considered "taboo" by society..31Utilitarian
The person was too "hot" (sexy) to resist.-.53Pleasure
I thought it would relax me..54Stress Reduction
I thought it would make me feel healthy..43Stress Reduction
I wanted to experiment with new experiences.-.64Physical Desirability
I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.-.58Physical Desirability
I thought it would help me to fall asleep..57Utilitarian
I could brag to other people about my sexual experience..34Stress Reduction
It would allow me to "get sex out of my system" so that I could focus on other things.53Stress Reduction
I wanted to decrease my partner's desire to have sex with someone else-.74Mate Guarding
It would damage my reputation if I said "no"..48Social Sataus
The person was too physically attractive to resist.-.54Physical Desirability
I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex..78Love & Commitment
I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.30Stress Reduction
I was mad at my partner so I had sex with someone else..71Revenge
It was expected of me..50Duty/Pressure
I wanted to keep my partner from straying.-.83Mate Guarding
I wanted the pure pleasure.-.53Pleasure
I wanted to make a conquest..39Stress Reduction
I'm addicted to sex..54Stress Reduction
It was a favor to someone..40Social Sataus
I wanted to be used or degraded..33Resources
Someone offered me money to do it..49Resources
I was drunk..50Stress Reduction
It seemed like good exercise..55Stress Reduction
I was pressured into doing it..74Duty/Pressure
The person offered me drugs for doing it..35Resources
I was frustrated and need relief..67Stress Reduction
I felt insecure..41Self-esteem
My regular partner is boring, so I had sex with someone else..54Revenge
I was on the "rebound" from another relationship..56Revenge
I wanted to boost my self-esteem..70Self-esteem
I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.-.79Mate Guarding
Because of a bet..34Revenge
I wanted to get a special favor from someone..33Utilitarian
I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me..77Revenge
I wanted to enhance my reputation..57Social Sataus
I wanted to keep warm..61Utilitarian
I wanted to punish myself..60Resources
I wanted to break up rival's relationship by having sex with his/her partner..57Revenge
I wanted to impress friends..38Social Sataus
I wanted to achieve an orgasm.-.47Pleasure
I wanted to improve my sexual skills.-.49Physical Desirability
I wanted to get a job..57Resources
I wanted to get a raise..61Resources
I wanted to get a promotion..57Resources
I wanted to satisfy a compulsion..33Stress Reduction
I wanted to make money..46Resources
I wanted to keep my partner satisfied..36Love & Commitment
I wanted to change the topic of conversation..58Utilitarian
I wanted to get out of doing something..72Utilitarian
I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner..52Utilitarian
I wanted to get a partner to express love..50Love & Commitment
I wanted to put the passion back into my relationship..32Love & Commitment
I wanted to prevent a breakup.-.73Mate Guarding
I wanted to become one with another person..64Love & Commitment
I wanted to get a favor from someone..50Utilitarian
I wanted to breakup my relationship,.32Utilitarian
I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS)..53Revenge
I wanted to breakup another's relationship..51Revenge
I wanted to avoid hurting someone's feelings..37Utilitarian
I wanted to make myself feel better about myself..73Self-esteem
I wanted to get rid of a headache..59Utilitarian
I was afraid to say "no" due to the possibility of physical harm..45Resources
I wanted to keep my partner from having sex with someone else.-.81Mate Guarding
I wanted to burn calories..69Utilitarian
I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner..60Revenge
I wanted to hurt an enemy..44Revenge
I wanted to feel older..67Self-esteem
I wanted to raise my self-esteem..74Self-esteem
It was an initiation rite to a club or organization..40Resources
I wanted to become more focused on work-sexual thoughts are distracting..54Utilitarian
I wanted to say "I've missed you."-.71Expression
I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.-.73Expression
I wanted to say "I'm sorry."-.85Expression
I wanted to say "thank you".-.83Expression
I wanted to welcome someone home.-.88Expression
I wanted to say "good bye".-.83Expression
I wanted to defy my parents..41Utilitarian
I wanted to relieve "blue balls"..43Stress Reduction
I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps..33Utilitarian
I wanted to get the most out of life.-.41Physical Desirability
I wanted to feel feminine..58Self-esteem
I wanted to feel masculine.-.33Pleasure
I am a sex addict..49Stress Reduction
I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.-.62Physical Desirability
I thought it would boost my social status..47Social Sataus
The person had a lot of money.noneResources
The person's physical appearance turned me on.-.73Physical Desirability
The person was a good dancer.-.55Physical Desirability
The person had beautiful eyes.-.76Physical Desirability
An erotic movie had turned me on.33Stress Reduction
The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner..60Utilitarian
The person had bought me jewelry..55Utilitarian
The person was really desired by others.-.70Physical Desirability
I wanted to gain access to that person's friends.noneSocial Sataus
I felt jealous.noneRevenge
The person flattered me.-.53Physical Desirability
The person had a desirable body.-.85Physical Desirability
I had not had sex in a long time..33Stress Reduction
The person smelled nice.-.75Physical Desirability
The person had an attractive face.-.89Physical Desirability
I was the person naked and could not resist.-.66Physical Desirability
I was turned on by the sexual conversation.-.52Pleasure
The person wore revealing clothes.-.53Physical Desirability
The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them..34Social Sataus
The person was mysterious.-.36Pleasure
I realized I was in love.58Love & Commitment
I wanted to reproduce..43Resources
I wanted my partner to notice me..47Self-esteem
I wanted to lift my partner's spirits.-.56Expression
I wanted to make my partner feel powerful..64Self-esteem

However, in the end Meston and Buss conclude that:

All of these diverse theoretical perspectives, when taken together, point to a singular conclusion: The reasons people have sex are likely to be far more numerous and psychologically complex than previous taxonomists have envisioned.

There, they said it, you are complicated.

I Feel like there are already enough reasons to have sex. I mean after all, one is enough for me. But Dr. Buss and Dr. Meston are working on a new project: a list of reasons to say no to sex. If you want a chance to help out, interested participants are invited to fill out a questionnaire.



Related posts:

  1. These Truths I Hold Self Evident
  2. 39 things
  3. Cartoon Laws Of Physics

Posted in lists, matters of the heart, science, sex/dating.

Tagged with , , , .


2 Responses

Stay in touch with the conversation, subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.

  1. hamid reza says

    link to the pdf file is incorrect, seems that you must replace underlines with space.

  2. hubs says

    Thanks Hamid. The link has been fixed.



Some HTML is OK

or, reply to this post via trackback.

Powered by WP Hashcash



.