My Plastic Me

Despite being absolutely exhausted yesterday, when I got a call from my brother to join him and Pandy for sushi, I couldn’t resist. I don’t know that I have ever turned it down before. We went to Sushi Heights which is, in my opinion, the best sushi restaurant in town. After chowing down on a bunch of sushi B combination platters and sake we headed over to my brother’s to lay around and digest.

We caught part of The Swan which was really just a laugh. We only saw two contestants but all of us agreed that they may be slightly “prettier” after the “makeover” but they looked a lot more “attractive” before it. I think these shows are utterly abhorrent but somehow intriguing. And have you guys seen this show about the kids who are going through plastic surgery in order to look like somebody famous. The girl who wanted to look like Britney Spears already looked like Britney Spears, she just got bigger tits. Maybe I’m just old but this shit disturbs me. And now there’s this eyeball jewelry.

Serious Fun

Give me more fun stuff. I want more fun stuff to take up my time. I don’t want all my time spent working. Watching American Idle, sleeping, polishing my shoes, mopping, and cooking frozen pizzas. I want fun. I’m having fun. But I want more of it. I want so much fun I can’t get my work done. I have no idea what all these American Idle entries that everyone’s posting are all about.1 I’m constantly tired. Scuffed shoes, sticky floors and hungry.

I have a few things I want to do. It’s often just so hard to get started. And if they’re not fun, then they’re really hard to get started. Shit. Prioritizing is for sucks. Seriously. Prioritizing is for sucks and multi-tasking is for girls.2

But that’s OK.3 Whatev.

And mostly I wish I could think of something both cool and fun. And something that nobody has ever done before. And it would be really cool if nobody has even thought of doing it. I wonder if there is something, that I could do, that no person in the history of all time has ever thought of doing. Wait. Don’t tell me. That would ruin it. Doing that would make me cool. And it would be Fun. Capital ‘F’ fun. Fucking fun kind of fun.

That’s what I want.4
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White Noise

Back in highschool, me and my friend Les would often stand in the hallway near our lockers during passing period and stare out the door. We wouldn’t talk to each other. We were too busy listening and didn’t want to interrupt what we were hearing: the sound of 400 students gossiping, spilling books, taunting, laughing, slamming lockers, eating snacks, chasing each other, smacking gum, copying homework, making out, tearing pages out of notebooks, etc. When we didn’t focus on one sound at a time but the on whole sound: a low penetrating, ominous, rumble would emerge. It was a hum you would hear only if you knew it was there. Soon, we noticed this could be done almost anywhere. It fascinated us, how this sound seemed to stand on its own, beyond the individuals creating it. Les was the only one I had ever told about my listening to this sound. I think because I thought he would be one of the few I knew who could appreciate it. To this day I could walk up behind Les and hum, and he’d know exactly what I was referring to: white noise.

As a close friend of pop culture, it’s very surprising that I thought Don DeLillo’s White Noise was, in a word, boring. At least mostly boring. The novel held some appealing wit. The scene with like the “Most Photographed Barn In America”, the near plane crash, and some of Jack Gladney’s conversations with his family I found really amusing in DeLillo’s dark and dry way. And though at times the novel produced a disturbed chuckle from me, I wouldn’t say that it was hilarious or even funny, really. In fact much of the time it was annoying and tedious. Yes, this novel was clever, but despite having many facets, it was not fascinating.

It’s true that the meat of DeLillo’s White Noise is held in its observations, not in its plot. But the story held almost no plot. The main character in White Noise tells us that all plots move deathward. Is it a valid reason for Delillo not to include a plot in this novel? I don’t think so.

It could very well be that I have become so accustomed to the torrent of information, often useless, swirling around me that I don’t think that the racket that it creates is worthy of a novel itself. Let alone bothering to read that novel. White Noise seems to be just more white noise. It’s not lost on me that may be exactly what DeLillo had intended.

I did enjoy the cultural themes presented in the novel. DeLillo reveals to us how we as participants in American culture are often more interested in the copy than in the original. We as a culture reject the real event in favor of the simulation. Representation supersedes experience. I also enjoyed the idea that death seems to be the only concept that can equal our society’s white noise in sheer force. And despite popular culture using glitz, packaging, and showiness in an attempt to hide death beneath the surface, death is in the end, inevitable. Despite what DeLillo is trying to portray, I don’t think death has disappeared from american culture, my death clock is testimony to that. Maybe I’m missing something. On the other hand, maybe I get it.

Is Don DeLillo’s novel White Noise high-end art? Maybe. Enjoyable? Maybe not.
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The Birth Of Saint Patrick

On the eighth day of March it was, some people say,
That Saint Pathrick at midnight he first saw the day;
While others declare ’twas the ninth he was born,
And ’twas all a mistake between midnight and morn;
For mistakes will occur in a hurry and shock,
And some blam’d the babby and some blam’d the clock
Till with all their cross-questions sure no one could know
If the child was too fast or the clock was too slow.
Now the first faction fight in owld Ireland, they say,
Was all on account of Saint Pathrick’s birthday;
Some fought for the eighth for the ninth more would die,
And who wouldn’t see right, sure they blacken’d his eye!
At last both the factions so positive grew,
That each kept a birthday, so Pat then had two,
Till Father Mulcahy, who showed them their sins,
Said, “No one could have two birthdays, but a twins.”
Says he, “Boys, don’t be fightin’ for eight or for nine,
Don’t be always dividin’ but sometimes combine;
Combine eight with nine, and seventeen is the mark,
So let that be his birthday.” “Amen,” says the clerk.
“If he wasn’t a twins, sure our hist’ry will show
That, at least, he’s worth any two saints that we know!”
Then they all got blind dhrunk which complated their bliss,
And we keep up the practice from that day to this.
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KHUBS Radio And Grey Tuesday

So I’ve been working on putting together KHUBS Radio for a little while now and I thought what better time to announce it than on Grey Tuesday.

See, DJ Danger Mouse created a remixed album consisting of Jay-Z’s Black Album and the Beatles White Album, and called it the Grey Album. Jay-Z’s record label, Roc-A-Fella, released an a capella version of his Black Album specifically to encourage remixes like this one. However, EMI claims copyright control of the Beatles November 25, 1968 released, White Album. As a result, EMI has sent cease and desist letters demanding that stores destroy their copies of the album and that websites remove them from their sites. I personally feel that if sampled music is recorded in a respectful and artistically positive way, and that the end result is fundamentally different than the original, that artists should be able release their works without worry about copyright infringement. DJ Danger Mouse’s Grey Album does just that. I’m not sure what EMI is afraid of, the Grey Album is a completely new piece of art wonderfully different from what the Beatles created. I can’t imagine the Grey Album could have any effect on the sales of the incredibly popular (and rightfully so) White Album (except maybe introduce a few hip-hop fans that have somehow escaped the unavoidable genius that is the White Ablum).

The point is we cannot allow these corporations to continue censoring art; we need common-sense reforms to the copyright law that can make sampling legal and practical for artists. So for my part, in participation of GreyTuesday, which is sponsored by Downhill Battle, you can listen to DJ Danger Mouse’s Grey Album by clicking here or the KHUBS Radio link over there on the right for a pop-up to listen to while you’re doing other stuff. Enjoy!