If you have read this crap for any length of time, then it will come as no surprise to you that I’m an incredibly efficient procrastinator. That should be on my resume. Efficient procrastinator. Knowing this little tidbit about me, it would also come as no surprise that it has been seven plus years since I have been to the dentist. Seriously, that is how efficient I am. I’m such a good procrastinator it’s almost embarrassing. Actually, it is embarrassing. But not too embarrassing to tell the whole internet world.
As my dentist will attest, a lot of plaque can build up when one has the implausible procrastination skills that I have. It made for a loooooong visit to the dentist yesterday. A gas free visit I might add too. My old dentist was fast and loose with the gas. I miss that.
Despite my supreme skills of postponement, I somehow walked into the dentist cavity-free. The bad news is (and don’t let them fool you kids – there is always bad news) I was told I’m a grinder. I thought that was something cool at first. It’s not. G has been well aware of the “strange mouth noises” I make throughout the night. I gnash my teeth as I sleep and I have no idea that I’m doing it. That, my friends, is not cool. It’s ruining my teeth. They’re being shifted around, worn down, and physically abused by my stress and dreams. What a team stress and dreams make. They’re kicking my teeth in (very slowly but it’s still happening). My grinding has worn my molars flat and thinned my enamel and cracked one of my fillings. That filling needs to be replaced within the next few weeks. Finally, I might get some of the oh-so-wondrous-nitrous-oxide! That is, if I can put my procrastination aside.