LBJ Orders Some New Haggar Pants

It’s true that Lyndon Baines Johnson, our 36th President, was very concerned with his pants riding up “in the crotch, down where your nuts hang.” A valid concern among to many of us. Though, most of us don’t have our concerns recorded and entered into the Miller Center’s Presidential Recordings Program. Take a few minutes to listen to more than you ever want to know about LBJ’s nether regions.

While you’re there, take a little time to listen to John F. Kennedy, a known and avid user of methamphetamine (and Demerol, methadone, Ritalin, meprobamate, miscellaneous barbiturates and thyroid hormone), order a few more “of those blue pills”.

Bell Pepper Teratoma

The other night I was fixing up some fajitas for dinner. Yum. While cutting up a red bell pepper for my meal, what to my wondrous eyes did appear? A red pepper teratoma! A capsicum styled fetus in fetu, if you will. A pepper within a pepper. According to this (fairly well referenced) Wikipedia article explains what fetus in fetu is:

Fetus in fetu (or fœtus in fœtu) is a developmental abnormality: a mass of tissue inside the body that more or less resembles a fetus. There are two theories of origin concerning fetus in fetu. One theory is that the mass begins as a normal fetus but becomes enveloped inside its twin. The other theory is that the mass is a highly developed teratoma. Fetus in fetu is estimated to occur in 1 in 500,000 live births.

It’s not quite as exciting as the foot found in the boys brain down in Colorado Springs (warning: very graphic photo [photo credit to the Denver Post]. DO NOT click if you are at all squeamish). But I was still pretty thrilled with my little discovery. My mature, and fully ripened, red pepper was carrying it’s own underdeveloped green pepper twin inside it. Of course I took pictures.

Red Pepper Teratoma (Inside)

And here is a picture of the with the fetus extracted.

Red Pepper Teratoma (Extracted)

Alas, teratoma peppers are not all that uncommon.

Brotherly Love

I was really impressed with Philadelphia as a city. I only spent a long weekend there but I felt like I got to see most of the sights and get a real flavor of the city (though that flavor was slightly greasy [in a good way]). As soon as I stepped of the plane it was straight to Johnny Manana’s for their giant griddle of melted cheese. The queso was excellent, the margs were horrible. I then got settled into my friend’s house who were hosting me for the week, at a yummy home cooked meal and washed it all down with a few beers at the Dark Horse in the city. The Dark Horse is a Philadelphia style Irish pub with strong roots, located in a 2 story colonial rowhouse complete with dark wood, exposed brick, and one of the oldest working fireplaces in the city.

We kicked off our first full day in the City Of Brotherly Love with Philly cheese steaks of course.

One of the people I was staying with was a highschool history teacher, and a native Philly who’s in love with his city. He was the perfect tour for all of the historical sights we visited on Saturday. We spent the entire afternoon seeing all the historical sights. The liberty bell, Independence hall, First national bank, The oldest residential street in the US, the National Constitution Center, and a bunch more. I think I might have been a little bored if it weren’t for the interesting anecdotes and facts provided by our good friend/tour guide.

Over There

For dinner we went to the tasty but slightly overpriced White Dog Cafe. A restaurant known for there social activism as much as their food. The atmosphere was cool and a little fancy. It made for a great “nice night out”.

Sunday I slept in and had a leisurely breakfast then went to the Mütter Museum. This has to be one of the most interesting museums I’ve ever been to. It was filled with biological/anatomical oddities – conjoined twins, casts of heads suffering from acute, a 30 foot colon, the soap woman, the Chevalier Jackson collection of over 2,000 objects swallowed and removed from the trachea, celebrity body parts, encased longitudinal slices of the head showing the brain. It’s all enough to make you gasp and then get a little queasy. Muffled shouts of “My God, look at that BABY MONSTER!” are often heard and quite appropriate.

Then it was off to the impressive Philadelphia Museum Of Art. I must have spent nearly four hours exploring this place.
Felix Gonzalez-Torres.

On Monday we spent the morning hiking around the Wissahickon Creek. It’s so great that Philly has a such a large, heavily wooded park right next to the city.
Thomas Mill Road Covered Bridge
In fact, Philly was filled with parks and was one of the many things I found attractive about it. Anyway, our trip ended shortly after with a flight back to Denver that seemed to take forever.

King Sized Confusion

Please, somebody tell me they saw the Anna Nicole Smith interview on Larry King Live last night. Oh my God, that was painful. Anna may have lost a lot of weight, but her head is still full of rocks. It got to the point where Larry King was actually answering his own questions cause he was tired of waiting on her extremely slow and muddled responses. At one point she was referring to her vagina as a biscuit. Here is the actual transcript:

SMITH: OK. Well, OK, they had a cake of me there, you know, a naked me, and they had — it was naked and they had the biscuit, you know, the biscuit and the boobs, and I was standing by the cake, and there was this guy there, and he’s like, oh, you want me to show you how to eat biscuit? I was like, sure. Sure. Show me.
KING: We’re approaching halftime at the Super Bowl here, Anna. I think it sounds a little wild.
SMITH: What?
KING: It sounds — that was just a start of the party.
SMITH: That was the start of it. Do you want me to finish telling you about the cake?
KING: No.

Larry King was baffled and had to stop her story. About half way through they brought out her lawyer and King directed most of his questions to him, seeing as how he could actually answer them.