Tetrapharmakos: The Four-Part Cure

“The four-part cure,” is the Greek philosopher Epicurus’ remedy for leading the happiest possible life.

Don’t fear god,
Don’t worry about death;
What is good is easy to get, and
What is terrible is easy to endure

The “tetrapharmakos” was originally a compound of four drugs (wax, tallow, pitch and resin); the word has been used metaphorically by Epicurus and his disciples to refer to the four remedies for healing the soul.

Fear Heirarchy

Below is Jan Pettit’s wonderful poem “Fear Hierarchy” printed in its entirety.

Fear Hierarchy

1. Fear of the dark
    Under the bed.
    Inside the closet.
    Between leap and landing (floor to bed).
    (Related) Long arm reaching out from under bed.
2. Fear of separation
    Lost in a crowd (accidental).
    Lost in a crowd (on purpose).
    Lost in the woods (either).
3. Fear of abandonment
    Parents dying.
    Parents divorcing.
    One parent moving.
    Parents remarrying.
4. Fear of wicked stepparent
5. Fear of pee accidents
    In school.
    In bed.
    In friend’s bed.
6. Fear of bras
    Needing one.
    Not needing one.
    Anyone looking closely enough to know.
7. Fear of menstrual period
    Getting it.
    Not getting it.
    Surprise attack.
8. Fear of embarrassment
    Wrong clothes.
    Wrong hair.
    Wrong glasses.
    Wrong body.
    Wrong mother.
9. Fear of Getting Pregnant
10. Fear of rejection
    By friends.
    By boyfriend.
    By colleges.
11. Fear of being found out
12. Fear of not getting work
    Not paying student loans.
    Not paying bills.
13. Fear of selling out
    Deserting dreams.
    Embracing capitalism.
14. Fear of the dark (continued)
    Parking lots at night.
    Deserted streets at night.
    Apartments at night.
    Houses at night.
    Bedrooms at night.
15. Fear of rejection (continued)
    By lovers.
    By bosses.
    By friends.
16. Fear of being unloved
17. Fear of being unlovable
18. Fear of having married the wrong person
19. Fear of not getting pregnant
20. Fear of mortality
    Parents’ mortality.
    Spouse’s mortality.
    Signs of mortality.
    Cancer.
21. Fear of childbirth
22. Fear of losing a child
    To crib death.
    To falling down stairs.
    To a head injury.
    To bathtub.
    To a bicycle accident.
    To a car accident.
    To a playground accident.
    To a freak accident.
    To pneumonia.
    To cancer.
    To a thousand kinds of cancer.
    To a pedophile.
    To a kidnapper.
    To a babysitter.
    To a stranger.
    To a tick bite.
    To a bad heart.
    To thin ice.
    To a swimming pool.
    To falling rocks.
    To drugs.
    To gun violence.
    To poor judgment.
    To sport.
    To a dare.
    To driving.
    To driving drunk.
    To heartbreak.
    To childbirth.

Threatening Weiners

I love this hotdog homeland security threat level system. We are currently at threat level Chicago dog with the works.

    Severe Risk – Fried, Bacon-Wrapped Tijuana Danger Dog Topped With Jalapenos, Onions and Mayo
    General Risk – Microwaved Oscar Meyer Wieners on White Bread Roll with Ketchup
    Low Risk – Steamed Tofu Pup on Sprouted Wheat Roll