You know I really haven’t gotten into this whole World Poker Championships and Celebrity Poker crap that has been sweeping the nation lately. Watching people play cards is like watching bowling or golf. It’s just plain boring. I don’t care if it’s Dolly Parton with a queen of hearts hidden in her massive cleavage or Cheech Marin using his “funny” acting skills to bluff his opponent, the celebrities don’t make it any more interesting. I think it would be funny to walk in on somebody playing solitaire on their coffee table while watching one of those celebrity poker tournaments. That would be the personification of pathetic. You’d get to make fun of somebody for a long time if you caught them in that sort of compromising position. Of course, I’ve done much, much more pathetic things than that, I’m just lucky that nobody walked in on me while I was doing them. But that is neither here nor there. Back to my topic. Poker on TV is a fruitless waste when you can actually play poker.

And playing poker, as you may have guessed at this point, is what I did last night. I met the boys over at Uncle Squigley’s. A five dollar buy-in got me pizza, beer, and an evening’s entertainment. We played Texas Hold ‘Em, Omaha, Chase The Bitch, Guts, Whores & Fours, 357, Stacks, Lowball, Juevos, Between The Sheets, and a few other games. I came out thirty bucks ahead, which is actually a pretty amazing feat for me. I’m an admittedly terrible poker player. Or at least that’s what I tell the people I’m playing. You see, like many things in life, it’s all about the bluff.

My Plastic Me

Despite being absolutely exhausted yesterday, when I got a call from my brother to join him and Pandy for sushi, I couldn’t resist. I don’t know that I have ever turned it down before. We went to Sushi Heights which is, in my opinion, the best sushi restaurant in town. After chowing down on a bunch of sushi B combination platters and sake we headed over to my brother’s to lay around and digest.

We caught part of The Swan which was really just a laugh. We only saw two contestants but all of us agreed that they may be slightly “prettier” after the “makeover” but they looked a lot more “attractive” before it. I think these shows are utterly abhorrent but somehow intriguing. And have you guys seen this show about the kids who are going through plastic surgery in order to look like somebody famous. The girl who wanted to look like Britney Spears already looked like Britney Spears, she just got bigger tits. Maybe I’m just old but this shit disturbs me. And now there’s this eyeball jewelry.

MTV Dissapoints Once Again

Last night when I got home I turned on the TV. The channel was already tuned to MTV so I watched TRL while changing out of my work clothes. They were having a spelling contest with a very attractive female who looked about 29 yrs old. The woman was a Jr High teacher who had to spell ghetto rap words like Xzibit, Eminem, and Big Boi. She wasn’t able to get any of them right. I thought to myself, “Hot damn, it’s nice to know that there are a few attractive women out their that are in my demographic, poor spellers, and still appreciate MTV.” Then she started talking about the kids that she taught at school and how these kids now filled up the typical, hysterical and screaming audience. It was then that I realized she was only there cause her students were there, and my hopes and dreams were shattered.

King Sized Confusion

Please, somebody tell me they saw the Anna Nicole Smith interview on Larry King Live last night. Oh my God, that was painful. Anna may have lost a lot of weight, but her head is still full of rocks. It got to the point where Larry King was actually answering his own questions cause he was tired of waiting on her extremely slow and muddled responses. At one point she was referring to her vagina as a biscuit. Here is the actual transcript:

SMITH: OK. Well, OK, they had a cake of me there, you know, a naked me, and they had — it was naked and they had the biscuit, you know, the biscuit and the boobs, and I was standing by the cake, and there was this guy there, and he’s like, oh, you want me to show you how to eat biscuit? I was like, sure. Sure. Show me.
KING: We’re approaching halftime at the Super Bowl here, Anna. I think it sounds a little wild.
SMITH: What?
KING: It sounds — that was just a start of the party.
SMITH: That was the start of it. Do you want me to finish telling you about the cake?

Larry King was baffled and had to stop her story. About half way through they brought out her lawyer and King directed most of his questions to him, seeing as how he could actually answer them.

Joe Reality

I’ve been spending a lot of time on the computer the last two days. I’m finally getting near a completion on my redesign and work has had me sitting in front of this piece of crap quite a bit too. In the mean time I’ve been watching a fair bit of reality TV. I watched Joe Millionaire and Average Joe on Monday. Did I really watch two hours worth of “Joe” reality? My god. And because I have had trouble getting to sleep lately, Conan O’Brian has been making me laugh out loud all by my lonesome.

Beep Beep Beeped

I stayed up late watching blind date last night (shut up) and right when each person was about to say what they thought about the their date, one of those “this is a test of the emergency broadcast system” things came on and beep beep beeped out everything the dates had to say. I wasn’t too happy about that. I also watched the new show on HBO called Carnivale. It’s seems pretty cool. It has the little person from “Fire Walk With Me” in it.

This shadow puppetry is amazing (It’s a bit risqué but then again so were the links from yesterday).

I had previously mentioned a strange Korean phenomenon in which kids act dead for photographs. It seems it doesn’t take long for these things to travel over seas.
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Brain Candy

I don’t really have much to write about today. After returning my tuxedo last night I got some take-out food and went home to veg on the couch. The remainder of my evening consisted of the most enjoyable brain-candy: For Love Or Money, the new Maxim, and Blind Date.

And because it’s bad enough to watch and read all that lame stuff above (let alone follow those links), and because I really have nothing else to tell you, here are some stimulating and fun links that you should actually visit:

A visual representation of our language
The NASA astronomy picture of the day
A favorite engineering toy: SodaConstructor

Rocks The Mic

I have noticed that recently, a lot of the indie bands that I have discovered for myself – I say for myself because nobody I know listens to these bands, I hope you do because they’re rockin’ – are starting to show up on television. I first noticed this when I Am The World Trade Center had a portion of a song played on The Surreal Life. A couple of weeks ago I saw a song by one of my favorite indie bands, Papas Fritas, on a Dyntyne Ice commercial. I mention this only because a great band called Brassy is playing at the Bluebird tonight. Brassy currently has a song that is being played on a Motorola commercial. For all you in Denver with nothing to do tonight, go check it out. Muffin Spencer, younger sister of Jon Spencer (Jon Spencer Blues Explosion) rocks the mic and it’s bound to be a great show. I’ll make it if I can.