These Truths I Hold Self Evident

I like my coffee the way I like women: blonde and creamy
I like my coffee the way I like women: hot and wet
I like my coffee the way I like women: steamy and in large cups
I like my coffee the way I like women: fullbodied
I like my coffee the way I like women: first thing in the morning
I like my coffee the way I like women: strong and keeping me up all night
I like my coffee the way I like women: dribbling down my chin
I like my coffee the way I like women: drunk, horny, writhing on my living room floor, and dressed up in a catholic schoolgirl’s uniform with her skirt hiked up around her waist exposing her one-size-too-small, slightly wet panties, and letting out barely audible, breathy little moans.

19 thoughts to “These Truths I Hold Self Evident”

  1. I like my coffee like I like my women: ground up and in the freezer.

    I can no longer wear that t-shirt to work because 3 people complained it was offensive. It’s only offensive if your grandma got ground up and put in someone’s freezer. Fuckin’ people, I tell ya.

  2. I want to comment but since Satan has already won the contest the motivation is kind of gone, isn’t it?

    Hmm, speaking of Satan, what are those little numbers in parentheses next to people’s names, hubs?

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