Rules to the golf tournament I played in this weekend:
1. Format is 4 man scramble – everyone tees off, picks the best ball, everyone hits from that same spot, continue this until the little white ball is in the little hole on the green. (That’s the flat place with the flag Caesar!) Team Records one score for each hole.
2. Teams will be picked from a blind draw before the round. Yes I’ll preside, and yes a couple pairs will be predetermined because some guys don’t know or trust the rest of you drunks like I do (besides, they helped us out big time by coming in late, the least we can do is let them play with a buddy. If it looks like we were taken and they intentionally brought in a ringer we’ll blanket party them in the parking lot. Or Julio can take on all 4 of them!)
3. Potter will be running the closest to the pin and the longest drive contests as usual. See Phil about getting into them and the specifics. (He’s not so trustworthy so count your cash at the end – he’s been known to tip the cart girls a little heavy after a few.) Hole 8 will be closest to the pin, and hole 16 will be the longest drive (BTW if you wanna compete here I recommend breaking Timmys arm before he gets there).
4. Each player is allowed 1 mulligan for the round; use it wisely. Ah screw it, use it on the closest to the pin or the longest drive like I know you will. “There ain’t no we in team either!”
5. Drink lots of beer and support your local cart girl – the economy needs the boost.
6. Try not to break anything, and if you do – RUN!
7. No carp killing.
8. Trash talking is not only allowed, it’s encouraged.
9. Get the side wagers rolling, it keeps things interesting when you’re 15 down – shot and/or beers whatever happens first.
10. If you don’t hit it past the ladies tee – you know what to do, and I accept no responsibility for indecent exposure tickets – you hit the damn thing.
11. No cheating, foot wedges, throwing the ball, point shaving, etc. Beer drinking is first and foremost, the golf and tourney are just an excuse to do it. Mostly, Have Fun – Golf is FUN God Damnit!!
12. And for those teams that are lucky enough to qualify for the prizes – 1st Place is $40/player, 2nd is $20/player and 3rd is $10/player.