“Not only is sleeping naked more comfortable, but it’s good for your health too. Increasing your level of comfort makes it easier for you to relax and sleep, so you get a better night’s kip. The resulting deeper, longer sleep makes it easier for your body to regenerate and repair itself, and build up your energy for the day ahead.”
This February 25, the American Lung Association challenges you to power through 1,014 steps to the top of the cash register building in downtown Denver for their “Run The Register” event. Usually, the building’s stairwell is closed to the public, but they’ll unchain the doors and let you climb all the way to the 47th floor, where you can enjoy a stunning panorama of the Colorado horizon before taking the elevator back down to the lobby.
Today is an important day for me and a small portion of the world’s population. A time to celebrate our handicap and our ability to persevere despite the challenges that are put in front of us on a daily basis. Because of our disability, every day we have to cope with both intrinsic and socio-cultural biases. And although it’s not often discussed, my condition causes a large amount of injuries and occasionally death resulting from our inability to adapt correctly. The British Medical Journal has determined that those suffering our situation are significantly more likely to have premature, unnatural deaths*. People afflicted with my disorder are more likely to develop stuttering problems, dyslexia, and migraine headaches. We also often reach puberty 4 to 5 months later than normal, and have uncommon brain lateralization. Though not fully understood, my disability is thought to be genetic, and is probably passed on only by those with the gene in place. There is currently no known cure or remedy. Those not understanding our affliction often refer to us as awkward, clumsy, maimed or weak. Historically, people with my condition have been branded evil, crooked, and unclean. Things were so bad in the 1600’s we were burnt at the stake. And despite great leaps in the way we are now treated, society still needs to be better educated on what living with this particular condition is like. So today is set aside for to create awareness of our challenges. A chance for us, who are suffering under these conditions, to show our pride in who we are. A day set aside to take time and dispel of the many superstitions and prejudices concerning our condition. A time for us to celebrate the strengths and advantages inherent in our diversity.
The night before last I smashed my finger in the apartment door. It didn’t hurt too bad. I mostly just ripped my skin. The heavy door ripped it good and deep, right around the knuckle. I began bleeding immediately. Actually it didn’t bleed as much as it gushed. I held my finger in my mouth, tasting the metallic saltys-weet of blood mixed with saliva, until could put my keys away and get to the bathroom . I put my finger under the running sink faucet and the water was just barely able to keep up with the flow of blood. Eventually I figured to apply some pressure in order to slow the bleeding and get a bandage on. I probably needed stitches but couldn’t be bothered, a bandage would have to do. Well the cut finally stopped bleeding this morning. I’ll have a scar and this entry to remind me I’m still human.
After a very prolonged and heart-pounding week, the suspense is finally over. The much awaited results for the very ballyhooed cholesterol contest have finally arrived.
Before we get to the results, I would like to make a few thank-yous. First to my doctor, without whom the blood-work would never have been processed. I would also like to thank all the doctors who were involved in the process of discovering cholesterol and thus providing us with one more thing to worry about (not to mention discovering one more thing that can kill us). I can’t forget to thank my parents for providing me with the blood, and eggs for providing me with the cholesterol. Oh yeah, I’d also like to thank Jesus because somehow it seems necessary.
The contestants and their respective guesses follow:
The processing of the entries was long and arduous but a definite winner was established. Thanks to everyone who participated. This contest was a raging success and the winner will be thusly awarded. So without further ado, here are the results:
I used to think my old doctor was the greatest. Well she still is, as far as I know. However, she won’t be my doctor anymore. But that is only because she quit internal medicine and is now working with the elderly. So after she quit, I was reassigned a new doctor. And this is one of the major downfalls that I have run into with HMOs. They just assign you somebody. You have no idea who they are, and that can be a little scary when this is a person you are going to be discussing some very intimate details of your life and body with. And I really liked my old doctor. She took her time, explained things, even if they weren’t important. She thought of good questions and was always willing to answer mine. I even recommended her to a couple of friends who also found her to be a wonderful doctor.
But today I went to go see my new “assigned” doctor for my yearly check up. And I have to say, he was great. He never rushed. He answered all my stupid questions (why do you guys always check my involuntary reflexes by tapping my knee with that rubber mallet? I mean if I can move voluntarily why check them?) And asked a lot of questions himself. So, I think I may have lucked out.