relationships

How Can I Get My Girlfriend/Boyfriend To…

Leave a Comment | , , , , , , , ,

We’re approaching that time of year when we tend to reflect on what we have accomplished over the last year and what we want to strive for over the coming year.

And often this exercise also involves reflecting on our relationships and what we want from them. I decided to use googles predictive search feature to get a hive mind idea of what people want from their boyfriends and girlfriends.

How Can I Get My Girlfriend/Boyfriend To

How Can I Get My Girlfriend/Boyfriend To

There is a lot of the same themes going on from both searches. I both love and hate how Google allows a window each other’s fascinating, curiosities and troubles.

Get A Cute Nickname For Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

84 Comments | , , , , , , ,

Ever since I put together this giant list of affectionate, cute nicknames, everybody seems to come here looking for help finding a nickname to give their loved ones. Well, I have finally put together this generator that will help you find a unique, silly, cute, funny or sexy nickname for your special someone. All you have to do is click whether you want the name for your girlfriend or boyfriend, enter their name, then click the button. If you’re not happy with the first nickname just click the button again and you’ll get another one.

I need a nickname for my





[ad name=”Extra Long Post Footer Ad w/ Large Font”]

The Booty-Call And The Acts Involved Therein

2 Comments | , , , , , , , ,

A study recently published online in the Journal of Sex Research titled “Positioning the Booty-Call Relationship on the Spectrum of Relationships: Sexual but More Emotional Than One-Night Stands” investigates the nature of the acts engaged in during a booty-call. The study aimed to (a) examine the types of emotional and sexual acts involved in booty-call relationships and (b) compare the frequency of those acts to one-night stands and serious long-term relationships

Acts that are more characteristic of some degree of emotional intimacy (e.g., kissing on the lips) were most common in serious relationships but were also committed frequently in the context of booty-call relationships. This also suggests that part of the nature of booty-call relationships contains some degree of emotional intimacy.

The table below shows the frequency each individual sexual/emotional act within in each particular relationship type

[table id=3 /]

Not surprisingly, the researchers found that the booty-call relationship is more closely aligned with casual-sex relationships than serious long-term relationships. For instance, there was a positively correlation with the tendency to leave immediately after sex for booty-call relationships and one-night stands, but not for serious romantic relationships. However, the booty-call isn’t strictly sexual.

Booty-call relationships appear to be characterized by a combination of emotional (e.g., kissing on the lips) and sexual (e.g., penile-vaginal sex) acts. Emotional acts are of particular importance to demonstrate that booty-call relationships are distinct from one-night stands. One-night stands occur a single time, where sexual gratification is paramount and emotional feelings or acts are rather absent (Fisher & Byrne, 1978). In contrast, booty-call relationships have the longevity to explore other aspects and interests of the individuals’ sexuality.

In addition, the stunted emotional aspect combined with the longer time-horizons associated with the booty-call can be correlated to greater sexual exploration (teh butt seks!) than is allowed for in one-night stands.

we found that booty-call relationships were characterized by higher levels of kissing, in general, as well as manual and anal sex than in one-night stands. It may be that the limited time that characterizes one-night stands forces individuals to prioritize a small number of sex acts, or it may be that they do not feel comfortable making sexual requests for less common acts because they might lead to a global rejection and, therefore, to no sex at all. In the relatively less temporary and more acquainted context of booty-call relationships, individuals may have the freedom to explore their sexuality more because they have more time and less fear of being entirely rejected.

Also of interest, the researchers also made an attempt to determine why leaving immediately afters sex was so much common among booty-calls than one-night stands or long-term relationships.

By minimizing acts that are emotionally intimate and leaving after sex, partners may effectively prevent booty-call relationships from turning into committed, long-term relationships.

Similarly, individuals were more likely to leave after sex in the context of booty-call relationships than one-night stands. This may be because there is an implicit under standing between one-night stand partners that the nature of the relationship is casual and temporary, whereas the repeated encounters for booty-call relationship partners requires such a strategy to maintain the quasi-sexual nature of booty-call relationships.

If your interested in reading the entire study, you can download it here.

Sick Systems – How To Keep Somebody With You Forever

2 Comments | , , ,

This is a magnificent (yet disturbing) piece on creating a “sick system” – a psychologically manipulative set of behaviors used to keep people dependent on you. There are four main rules:
1. Keep them too busy to think.
2. Keep them tired.
3. Keep them emotionally involved.
4. Reward intermittently.

I have seen this set of rules used in a large number of dominant or authoritative relationships – including governments, dictators, religions, cults, lovers, kidnappers, families and employers. The author outlines a bunch of techniques you can use to achieve your goals using the “sick system” rules.

Make sure there’s never quite enough money, or time, or goods, or status, or anything else people might want. Insufficiency makes sick systems self-perpetuating, because if there’s never enough ______ to fix the system, and never enough time to think of a better solution, everyone has to work on all six cylinders just to keep the system from collapsing.

The Good People Of New York

10 Comments | , , , , ,

First off, I loved Thisbe Nissen’s first effort, a collection of short stories entitled “Out of the Girls Room And Into The Night“. Go buy it. Now. But I’m disappointed to announce that her début novel “The Good People Of New York” just didn’t do it for me. It just fell flat. Glossing over he fact that at least two chapters of this novel were taken nearly straight from her collection of short stories, the story just didn’t seem to work. Thisbe Nissen seems to be long on incident and short on plot so I would suggest sticking to her short stories. Thisbe’s writing remained strong and there are moments of true brilliance, and more rarely, heart felt emotion. But the books downsides outweighed the upsides in my opinion. The pacing seemed strange, granted it’s difficult to encapsulate 20 plus years in less than 300 pages, but the speed was jerky; it slowed and accelerated awkwardly.

For a book that is about relationships, in “The Good People Of New York” Nissen did little to develop the relationship between the main characters Roz and her daughter Miranda. And to further muddle things, several characters created brief emotional relationships with each of the main characters but none of these interactions or affairs were built upon with conviction. Individuals simply breezed in and of the novel making impacts whose craters Thisbe neglected to explore.

The novel, however, was enjoyable and worth my time. I didn’t hate it but I surely didn’t love it. There were sections were Thisbe really shined (see below). I’d recommend this book to those interested in reading about mother/daughter relationships but I definitely won’t be reading it again.
…

The Good People Of New YorkRead More »

Scroll to Top